Florida Man Demands Seat On Lucasfilm Story Group After Seeing Solo 165 Times

CLEARWATER, FLORIDA — While some Star Wars fans are boycotting Solo and demanding the rights to remake The Last Jedi, others have seen Solo well over a dozen times. Then there’s forklift operator and self-published sc-fi/fantasy author Thomas Schumaker who is in a league of his own. Schumaker, a 42 year-old Florida native, has seen Solo: A Star Wars Story a record 165 times in theaters since the film debuted on May 10th, 2018.

Schumaker is of the thinking that he is a customer of Lucasfilm — not the theater — and since he has bought 165 tickets, 170 if you include the five times he bought tickets for his friends and family who attended showings with him, Lucasfilm should listen to his critiques of Solo. After all, the customer is always right!

“The amount of tickets I have paid for should score me a seat on the Lucasfilm Story Group. While I loved Solo, I have some ideas that could have immensely improved it and how the story should move forward. Like Lando shouldn’t of had a beard only a mustache, Maul and Qi’ra should be revealed to be Rey’s parents in Episode IX, and L3-37’s voice should be heard in all future scenes in Star Wars set on board the Millennium Falcon. Hablo Pidalgo could learn a thing or two from me when it comes to creating and curating content.”

Schumaker has even sent us his resume to show our readers in hope of you supporting him. Here’s just a small sample:

  • Fantastic story teller (see attached preview chapter of my upcoming 12 part sci-fi fantasy novel series The Gun Sword Chronicles).
  • Avid fan of Star Wars since I was an actual baby in diapers.
  • Kind on social media and open to fan criticism and discussion.
  • Enthusiastically recites the Thrawn trilogy by Tim Zahn in it’s entirety, word-for-word when asked.

Do you think Schumaker has what it takes to hold a seat on the council of storytellers for Lucasfilm? Let us know in the comments below!

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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