Daisy Ridley Film Delayed Because Of Terrible Wig And Tom Holland

Daisy Ridley Film Delayed Because Of Terrible Wig And Tom Holland

CHAOS LIMPING, AZ — Lionsgate’s $100 million film adaptation of Patrick Ness’ YA sci-fi novel starring Daisy Ridley and Tom Holland will not be released this year because of “massive problems.” The film, currently titled Chaos Walking, was originally set to release March 1, 2019, but poor test screenings pushed its release to the last quarter of 2019. Now all bets are off as Lionsgate has scheduled reshoots, and postponed the film’s debut to “sometime in 2020.”

According to FSW sources, director Doug Liman is unhappy with the lack of chemistry between Ridley and Holland. 

“They come off like brother and sister, which is really off putting when the plot calls for them to fall madly in love with each other. Hell, Tom has more of a thing going with Mads [Mikkelsen] than Daisy. It doesn’t help that she looks ridiculous in the blonde wig and spends all day texting Adam [Driver] on set,” said a source close to the production.

Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman is leading a team of four writers charged with heating up the tepid on-screen romance. The prolific Kaufman, best known for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, is confident they can sell a “Tomley” romance.

“We may have to break the fourth wall and go meta or some s%#^ but I’m confident we’ll get to at least kissing cousins territory,” said Kaufman.

Original author Ness is also consulting on the adaptation, because he believes his trilogy of novels can become the next Hunger Games phenomenon.

“I’m hoping we don’t have to go full CG to make Daisy and Tom seem like the characters I created. But if the next rough cut tests poorly, we may have to use Deep Fake technology to make it seem like they’re into each other. Just slap a Reylo face on her and put the face Spider-Man gives Iron Man on him,” said Ness.

At this rate, even a 2020 release date seems overly ambitious for Chaos Walking

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Willybobo

Hailing from the fictional planet of Yarvin IV, which is populated by bumblebee people, is Willybobo. As the Editor-in-chief of FSW, he strives to make the Star Wars fan community a better place for nerds and geeks everywhere. Willybobo was a very active member of the Cantina Star Wars fan forum so you may recognize him from there. He lives with an urn carrying the ashes of his former master, and spends all day asking the mighty Sheev for advice.

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