Mommalorian Loses Custody Of Foundling Over Baby Yoda Obsession
KISSIMMEE, FL — “Mommalorian” Debbie Watkins lost custody of her son after ex-husband Randy Schultz proved she had been neglecting the toddler in favor of a baby Yoda doll known as “The Child.”
According to court records obtained by FSW, Watkins would dress the alien doll in clothes meant for her three-year-old, while the toddler would spend all day dressed in nothing but a dirty diaper. Additionally, Randy and his legal counsel had major concerns over the steady diet of puréed frogs that Ms. Watkins had been feeding her human child.
“My client and I are very happy with the outcome. Caring for alien dolls, no matter how cute the quote unquote Child may be, should never take priority over the well-being of a living, breathing human child,” said Jason Jeremy Binks, attorney for Mr. Schultz.
Ms. Watkins was disappointed with the Family Court’s ruling, but does not plan to file an appeal.
“I’m sad Baby Yoda lost its human plaything, but now I can be devoted to my widdle gween bebeh 120% of the time! Who knows, we might even adopt a ManDOGalorian… errrmuhgad how cute would that be!”
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