John Cena Joins Rogue One as Mandarin-Speaking Mandalorian
STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT — It’s going to be a lot harder for John Cena to claim “You can’t see me” from here on out. The WWE superstar has just joined the cast of Disney’s Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Cena was added to the ensemble war film during Round 3 of its well documented reshoots. Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy handpicked the charismatic entertainer on the strength of his action-adventure-comedy film experience as well as his ability to speak fluent Mandarin.
While little is known about Cena’s character, spies have supplied us with an image of the wrestling icon in Mandalorian armor. We can only assume this means he will be portraying a fierce warrior with a possible connection to Boba Fett. Sources also indicate Cena, Donnie Yen, and Jiang Wen share several scenes in Mandarin.
“Kat is super determined to conquer China. Borderline obsessive, really. She feels Force Awakens should have done much better overseas. So she’s course-correcting, and banking on John Cena’s Mandarin-speaking Mandalorian to lay the smackdown on the Chinese box office,” said a Lucasfilm insider.
The casting couldn’t have come at a better time for the WWE. Earlier in the week, rival sports organization UFC was purchased for over $4 billion dollars.
As always stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for more on this and all other made up stories based on a made up galaxy far, far away.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
