We’ve finally been given the green light to share all-new plot points regarding Star Wars: Episode VIII. It seems a source within Pinewood Studios was able to leaf through an abandoned copy of the script in the bathroom. Our source, who requested to be called “Mr. Ed,” sent us these bullet points of the story shortly after he read the script whilst on the crapper. After the jump take a look, then let us know if you think it’s fake or legit in our new message board.
The subtitle of the film is The Knights of Ren and takes place 3 years after The Force Awakens.
The film opens with Poe, Finn, and BB-8 infiltrating a First Order production factory. They pilot a new version of the Y-wing, a two-seating stealth bomber. Finn wields a baton similar to the one used by FN-2199 (TR-8R). Finn and Phasma will engage in combat here, she will remove her helmet.
Finn and Poe have many “bro” scenes. They both joke about Rey’s affection until Finn meets Lando’s daughter. (More on that below.)
Snoke finished Kylo’s training and he leads the Knights of Ren to find Luke and Rey. Snoke wants Luke dead but Rey alive because he thinks he can turn her.
Kylo’s outfit remains mostly unchanged but his new helmet features gold around the eyes like the leaked concept art. He has another crossguard saber that is nearly identical but under close inspection you can see the hilt is slightly resembles Darth Vader’s. He has new Force powers including lightning.
After the destruction of Hosnian Prime at the hands of the First Order, the remaining New Republic senators appoint General Leia Organa as the new head of the Republic, reforming the Resistance into the Republic’s official military. The Republic’s new home base is Naboo.
As a result of the destruction of the New Republic’s fleet by the Starkiller, Leia looks to Maz Kanata to try and rally pirates and smugglers to aid their cause in the fight against the First Order.
The Crimson Corsair (Johnny Depp) and his peglegged associate Quiggold with their crew to join their cause. Same goes for the surviving members of Kanjiklub after being paid what Han Solo owed him before his death.
Benico Del Toro will portray a Jedi named Ezra who was a former Knight of Ren. He aids Luke in teaching Rey of the Force.
The purple hair was a recessive trait…
Leia sends Poe and Finn to Cloud City to recuit Lando Calrissian to their cause.He, his wife Dhara (Viola Davis), and daughter Qnae (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) join them and puts his Cloud City task force (led by Lobot) under Leia’s command. Qnae will become Finn’s love interest.
A space battle will happen over Ahch-to. Finn’s call sign is Black 5 and pilots a new ship called a D-wing.
Rey wields a yellow double bladed lightsaber and fights Kylo again while Luke, wielding both his and Anakin’s sabers, takes on the remaining members of the Knights of Ren.
One of the knights calls Ezra a traitor and succeeds in killing him.
Luke and Rey will end up captured by Snoke at the end of the film who is finally seen in person. He is large, around 8 feet tall, and covers his head with a hood now. His face is more deformed than in The Force Awakens. He is slowly decaying due to a disease he contracted earlier in his life causing rapid aging, Snoke is only around 50 years old and a human.
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The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.
