Top 10 Leaked Star Wars Themed Trident Gum Flavors

October 2, 2015September 9, 2019 Jango Fetty Wap 0 Comments

That’s right everyone! Newly leaked information from Jacen’s cousin who works in Trident’s Marketing and Propaganda Department has sent us 10 new flavors that will be hitting stores in correlation with both the release of TFA and Trident’s new line of “Trident White Gum” aka “The Same Old Gum Now With Star Wars Faces On the Them, That’s Right, Nothing Different Just Faces”

Flavors will include

1. Weird Blue Tatooine Milk

Have you ever wondered what that weird blue milk taste like that they drink on Tatooine? Well your strange prayers have been answered. Taste testers at Trident described it as tasting like “..Milk only blue and chewy”. Rumors that the blue milk is from Bantha’s have been quickly dispelled.

2. Yub Nub Juice

The secret recipe of the Ewok’s Yub Yub Juice is finally being put into Gum Form! The juice is traditionally made from a variety fruits and berries found on Endor and stirred by an Ewok High priest or basically just a dwarf in a fur coat tripping on LSD.

3. Klatooine Pad Frog

Every wonder what Jabba the Hut’s favorite snack, The Kaltooine Pad Frog, taste like? No, Me either. however that hasn’t stopped the good people of Trident from putting it into gum form. Taste testers revealed “It kinda taste like chicken if the chicken’s were frogs”

4. Sarlacc Pit Strawberry Fusion

Just the right amount of Sarlacc Pit and Strawberry blended goodness. Rumored to taste like “..People” with a hint of “Regurgitated Bounty hunter armor and a touch of Strawberry” This gum fusion is sure to frighten and confuse your taste buds.

5. Wookiee Milk

This finally answers the age old question “Can you milk a wookiee?”. Yes yes you can. However once you’ve finished she’ll rip your arms off beat you with them. Totally worth it though.

6. Colt 45

Lando Calrissian has signed yet another deal with both Trident and Colt 45 to bring you Colt 45 Flavored Gum. When asked to comment on the flavor of the gum Lando was quoted saying “Tastes like the ghetto if the ghetto was in space…but it works everytime”.

7. Jar Jar Numb Tongue

Never put your hand near a power coupling or a Gungan in a prequel both will leave you feeling numb for hours. Jar Jar’s Numb Tongue gum combines the feeling of watching your childhood be ruined by a walking dim witted frog creature and the joy of feeling nothing. This one’s going to be a best seller I can feel it.

8. Floating Force Fruit

This Gum not only tastes fruity and delicious but for a brief moment gives you the ability to use the force to float fruit across the table, feign emotions poorly, and complain about sand.

9. Bantha Poodoo

This one kind of speaks for itself. Really popular in the Sand People testing demographic and “boarder line upsetting” to everyone else.

10. Prequal Fanboy Tears

That’s right. Science has done it. After the release of all 3 Star Wars Prequels enough tears were gather from fanboys all around the world to create this new gum flavor. Made with actual nerd tears this gum promises to whiten your teeth AND sadden your insides.

Liked it? Take a second to support Faking Star Wars on Patreon!