BB-8 Dialogue from Playset Reveals He’s Over Star Wars
LAGUNA BEACH, CA — He may have rolled away with everyone’s hearts in The Force Awakens, but BB-8 is hitting the brakes on the love affair. According to my uncle’s cousin who works at Walmart, the all-new BB-8 playset features bizarre warbling by the custom BB unit. As it turns out, when you hold a Force Link up to the droid, he says the following:
“Porgs were a mistake”
“Screw you, Poe”
“BB-H8 you! I quit!”
“Sorry George”
“Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart”
“Catch me if you can, you white slavers!!”
“GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!!”
Wow, that’s quite a lot of negativity coming from the normally cheery BB-8. Perhaps he’s cracking under the pressure of being the droid face of the new Disney Star Wars films. Or maybe he’s upset because of how cute and derivative the new cast members are in The Last Jedi. After all, there are at least 4 new ball droids, which seem to be simple color swaps of BB-8. In any case, hurry and pick one of the BB-8 playsets up while you can, as we’re sure Disney will be recalling the first wave of them to quell the bizarre statements made by BB-8.
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-William “Willybobo” Bobo
