The Shocking Four-Legged Traitor Of Episode IX Revealed!
WARNING! The following story deals with a leak so surprising, it is likely to ruin your enjoyment of Star Wars: Episode IX. Proceed with caution, and don’t say we didn’t warn you!
SPOILER!! SPOILER!! SPOILER!!
It’s been common knowledge for quite some time now that Episode IX would feature a betrayal of some kind, to mirror the Revenge of the Sith’s revelation that Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was in fact the evil Darth Sidious. Speculation was also rampant that director J.J. Abram’s was not going to mimic the scene exactly, despite his carbon-copy approach to The Force Awakens.
Insiders are very confident that Abrams will be stealing a page from Rian Johnson’s play book in an effort to subvert audience expectations. It’s commonly believed the traitor will be a high-ranking First Order official who disseminates classified information to the remnants of the Resistance. 99% of spoiler sites have already reported that the turncoat is none other than the First Order’s SCREAMING ALL THE BLOODY TIME General Hux.
However, a reputable source has now come forward to reveal the truth. The original lines of speculation came close – in that the traitor is from The First Order. Although it’s not the power hungry screaming redhead, it’s someone very close to Hux.
According to our spy, the betrayal will come at the paws of Millicent, Hux’s beloved housecat. The lovable feline, who’s never very far from the general’s side, is said to have a custom beacon located on its collar, which was created by the late Lor San Tekka. Millicent will be sending top-secret transmissions to BB-8 throughout Episode IX.
We’re told there will be a big marketing push for Millicent… “She will be Episode IX’s porgs… they want to capitalize on Asia’s obsession with Pusheen the cat,” said our spy. What do you think about this latest leak? Let us know in the comments or hit us up in social!
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